I have been divorced for six years and I still find it difficult to reconcile the life of the single man with the life of a single parent. (I think I am making a real mess of both but that is probably a completely different blog.).
I have this 'superdad' role model in my mind, somebody who has a fulfilled life as a single professional man and somebody who is a wonderful parent and sometimes the two would merge in one person...me. Well, things could not be further from the truth.
The reality is a struggling professional and a struggling father. I can barely make ends meet and sometimes when faced with the dilemma wheher to buy ink cartridges for my printer or take my daughters ice skating I always end up feeling an irresponsible moron because one of the two side of me will be loosing, either the professional may end up without the ink cartridge and therefore unable to print or the father may not take his daughters ice skating and ... Jewish innate sense of guilt will make the rest. A lot has to be said for paperless work (save a bit of the rain forest, etc. etc.) and I can e-mail my invoices (anything else can wait) and I decide to go for taking the daughters ice skating. Except... life is what happens whilst you are having other plans... my daughters decide they'd rather watch the Chinese New Year parade and therefore no ice skating and I keep my chance to kill more of the rain forest.
Tense time at work tense time on the domestic front. A Jewish holiday is upon us in a couple of weeks, my children will go to synagogue with their maternal grandparents. On the evening of Purim they usually attend a synagogue near me. It so happens that this year it will be a Saturday night. The following Sunday morning I have to get up very early to go and collect them from their mother, it would make a lot of sense for all of us to be allowed a lie-in and for my daughters to spend the night at my place. My "ever so sensible" request is completely blanked by their mother, that leaves me very sad and I can't sleep. I wake up on a Monday morning of a very intense week, I need to generate cash to pay bills otherwise I am in trouble. A client declines my idea for extra work (leading to no extra bill), another client re-arranges the first meeting for a new assignment (thereby delaying the relevant bill) and the mother of my children rings to cancel my middle of the week 'visit'.
Monday Monday so good to me.... (yes, I am old enough to remember the song. Although I was very very young when it was a hit)
I have this 'superdad' role model in my mind, somebody who has a fulfilled life as a single professional man and somebody who is a wonderful parent and sometimes the two would merge in one person...me. Well, things could not be further from the truth.
The reality is a struggling professional and a struggling father. I can barely make ends meet and sometimes when faced with the dilemma wheher to buy ink cartridges for my printer or take my daughters ice skating I always end up feeling an irresponsible moron because one of the two side of me will be loosing, either the professional may end up without the ink cartridge and therefore unable to print or the father may not take his daughters ice skating and ... Jewish innate sense of guilt will make the rest. A lot has to be said for paperless work (save a bit of the rain forest, etc. etc.) and I can e-mail my invoices (anything else can wait) and I decide to go for taking the daughters ice skating. Except... life is what happens whilst you are having other plans... my daughters decide they'd rather watch the Chinese New Year parade and therefore no ice skating and I keep my chance to kill more of the rain forest.
Tense time at work tense time on the domestic front. A Jewish holiday is upon us in a couple of weeks, my children will go to synagogue with their maternal grandparents. On the evening of Purim they usually attend a synagogue near me. It so happens that this year it will be a Saturday night. The following Sunday morning I have to get up very early to go and collect them from their mother, it would make a lot of sense for all of us to be allowed a lie-in and for my daughters to spend the night at my place. My "ever so sensible" request is completely blanked by their mother, that leaves me very sad and I can't sleep. I wake up on a Monday morning of a very intense week, I need to generate cash to pay bills otherwise I am in trouble. A client declines my idea for extra work (leading to no extra bill), another client re-arranges the first meeting for a new assignment (thereby delaying the relevant bill) and the mother of my children rings to cancel my middle of the week 'visit'.
Monday Monday so good to me.... (yes, I am old enough to remember the song. Although I was very very young when it was a hit)
1 comment:
Thanks for sharing your experience
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